When It’s Too Late

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You guys are probably familiar who my crush is…. of course you guys have read lots of stuffs about him here in my blog already… or not.

Well, I was planning to do the “Big Reveal” yesterday. The plan was we go to DQ after school with our friends then on the way going home… I would confess. But of course that was just a plan. I wasn’t able to execute it.

You probably think I got cold feet or something that’s why I didn’t tell him. Or maybe some emergency thing happened… no.

I wasn’t able to confess cause apparently he had his own “Big Reveal Moment”. Right, my crush told me who his crush is.

And no surprise… it’s not me of course.

It’s this girl who is part of my “My Secret List of People I Really Hate.” Yes, I do have a list in my head. I don’t know why I hate this people but I really do think it’s because they have this bad aura or something.

Here’s the harsh part: He knows I have feelings for him but he still bluntly told me who his crush was…. the nerve of that douchebag.

So when he said it, I was just there petrified… biting my spoon. Then my friends were stealing glances on my way. Luckily, my chocolate dipped strawberry blizzard saved the day.

 

How i wished something like this happened… but no wishes don’t come true.

 

 

found this cool website with gifs,and cartoons.

I Know You Want To… But Don’t

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It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything in here. I don’t even know if somebody is even reading my blog anymore… but who cares. This is going to be a post of things you want to do with your crush but I advise you not to.

❥Meet with him and your friends before your College Entrance exams  

            👎 Well, I think you’ll need it for inspiration but maybe it would be a distraction… so DON’T

❥Be seatmates with him.

            👎 If you have a chance to choose your own seating arrangement go with your friends. If your crush is your seatmate PLUS an average size of classroom = unexpectedly “TOO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER” moments resulting for you to be unable  to breathe. If it’s possible move your seat by an inch. (Pretend your claustrophobic even if you’re not.)

❥Avoid cabbie rides/ car rides

            👎 The very enclosed + tight space, one way or another, would really make you blush. Worst case scenario is : Your friends make you seat together, which results to you having to make sure he doesn’t hear your heart pounding.

❥SLEEP OVER

             👎 Been there, done that, tried it. I SO DON’T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN. IDK why but he’ cranky in the morning… (Even though he has one hour of sleep… IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE.) But, IDK, if you want to see his sleeping face… then I ain’t stopping you.

❥SLEEP OVER then there’s school the next day

            👎 You’re seatmates and both of you’re sleeping during class hours… Chances are your friends would get your tablet/phone take a picture of both of you sleeping and sneakily make it your wallpaper.

This is actually a cropped and edited version of what my friends took.

This is actually a cropped and edited version of what my friends took.

❥COMPETE ON CELEB CRUSHES

             👎 He likes Chloe Grace Moretz and you’re all in for Logan Lerman. Fighting who’s a better fangirl/fanboy won’t do you good. Unless, he asks you to watch the upcoming movie of his celeb crush with you and your other friends… GO!

         ❥BE FRIENDS WITH HIM

            👎 Why is this a downer? Cause you’ll think this…

                                 “Your friends with him…. but that’s all you’ll ever be…. FRIENDS.”

            👎 If the status of your friendship is : ONE SIDED LOVE. Then ONE_SIDED LOVE IT WILL EVER BE. (divine intervention or whatever intervention, maybe he secretly likes you also but this unfortunately does not happen all the time) You really can’t expect anything in return with the care, trust, and affection you give him.

❥WRITE A LETTER TO HIM

            👎 SIGN IT ANONYMOUSLY… He’s going to die of curiosity looking for evidence which may lead to who wrote to that letter.

Rough September

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We’re down to 14 days of September but ,seriously, it’s like those 14 days were like a year without rain. Okay, that’s a corny joke. So I’ve been through a lot in the past 14 days and I’m going to highlight the events of these 14 days.

  • I went to sleep over once again without asking permission from my ‘rents. (Medyo bad girl)
  • So something happened in that sleepover that I really can’t really say. Just think this is one of Ali’s (PLL) sleep over where lots of things happened and let’s call this thing that happened in the sleep over “The Jenna Thing”
  • We actually have Saturday classes at school and so to save myself from being caught by my ‘rents, I still went to school early without the people I went to in the sleep over.
  • “The Jenna Thing” spreads before I could even eat lunch. Since all those guys I went with to the sleep over decided to stay at home to sleep, I was left to face “The Jenna Thing” by myself.
  • I really am thankful for my “new found” friends for sticking up with me even if I didn’t tell them the whole story.
  • Did I mention that I wrote a letter for my crush. Our English teacher told us to write a letter to two people whether they’re from the school or outside of school. My friends and I would sound like elementary kids here but we dared each other to write letters for our crush or somebody who has a crush on them. [My letter was actually a jigsaw puzzle type. The deadline of the letter was last last Friday and I even got an incident report for allegedly cutting classes just to finish that letter.]
  • A new week came and I’ve been avoiding a floor the entire week because all those who hate me because of “The Jenna Thing” are in that floor.
  • So our English letter/mail man distributed the letters in class, my heart started to race fast and I felt like I was going to palpitate or something. Then when my crush got the letter he opened the envelop and of course he was surprised because apparently the letter was cut into pieces. Since, I forgot to place the instructions…. he just looked at the pieces. (yeah, he actually is smart but can’t figure out that my letter is a puzzle)  Luckily, his friend who’s also my friend [who was with me in my “allegedly cutting classes case”], told him that “Maybe it’s a puzzle. You know who is it from?” My crush says, “Maybe when I fix the puzzle…. I won’t sleep later until I fix that puzzle.”
  • My other classmate wrote my crush a letter also. The creepy thing is, he placed a picture of my crush sleeping in his letter. I saw the picture and I know that since I’m the photographer of the picture and the one who uploaded that picture in FB is that, that picture is placed under the 1000 + pictures I have. Meaning, my class mate is a stalker of my crush. The creepiness did not stop there. He actually placed “Hey!!!! Crush?!?” in his letter. Then he placed a correction tape on the “Crush?!?” but my friend removed the correction tape in the end and showed to my crush that there’s actually “Hey!!! Crush?!?”
  • This is actually a problem because I think my crush knows that he’s my crush and I think he’ll say that I’m obsessed with him to actually place like that. My letter actually contains a friendly note and from one of his favorite anime…. Ish!!! I’m not obsessed with him or love him to the moon and back….. He’s just my crush.
  • I am actually starting to realize who my friends really are. just the realization you know….

 

Still, even if I’ve been though a lot of shit this high school and my high school isn’t turning into one of those musical movie in Disney which I thought how High School would be for me…. I don’t want it to end.

One-sided love

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What if the one you intended to be one-sided love (just keep to your self and your circle of friends), suddenly turns up to be something that the whole world already knows about except that person who you really like?

Thing is when people fall in love or just fall in love in the idea of love, everything changes. You’re going to share this things to your closest friends. Your friends who would tease you to death or even make weird deals with you about your crush. But sometimes things get out of your control and suddenly the whole world knows who is your crush already.

Okay, I’m exaggerating about the whole world knowing who is my crush… but the whole class has an idea who is my crush already. Then they’re teasing me about it already. Well, if it weren’t for the talent show in one of our subjects then maybe nobody would go figure it.  The guy I have a crush on and his friend decided to have their little stand-up comedy show. They made pick-up lines for the whole class… some where cheesy… some did not make sense at all… still the whole class enjoyed. I’m not really going to be specific about the pick-up line but it goes like this…

His friend said something cheesy about my name while I was thinking how come my crush did not say that cheesy pick-up line, then my crush acts mad at his friend and said, “What are you saying to my girlfriend?”

The whole class reacts and I’m like dying of happiness.

Hahaha…. How I wish that was true…

Still, it’s senior year and I really don’t have time for love.

Hahaha… joke. Maybe if the right time comes… then so be it.

Letters to you

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Here’s actually a list of things I would like to tell you but I would never tell.

Weird thing is I have the guts to post it at the net but not say it to you.

Weird, right? But, honestly, I’m going to burst if I won’t tell anyone.

I have friends but I’m embarrassed to say this to them.

Dear _________

You probably don’t know about this but we sure did have a secret past. My 9 year old fell in love with you for the first time. While my 10 year old self wanted to ask your name but always had cold feet just thinking about the idea that you’ll talk to me. Then my 11 year old self decided that maybe if I switched school then I’d get a chance to meet you.

Turned out when I was 12, you stayed their at your school. I lost hope so I did my very best to forget about you. I was able to live a year without seeing you anymore. Just then I thought we really weren’t going to see each other anymore. Funny is when I turned 13, I looked at the person sitting at my left and you were there. They were right when they said you shouldn’t go finding for love. Still, unfortunately, we weren’t classmates and you were in love with a person whom I thought was my friend. You still didn’t know I existed, I was sure of that. Tried my best not to look at you. Unfortunately, my best friend’s classroom, whom I go home with, is at the same floor as you.

For a year, I avoided that floor and turned out I slowly forgot you. Unfortunately, when I was 14 and have forgotten about you that’s how I became classmates with you. I’ve avoided you for a month and was also mad at you because you keep switching my name with the other girl. Then, your friend who was apparently a girl…uhm… touched you like you were together. Like clinging your arms and you desperately trying to get away from her. Luckily, somebody in their deranged mind decided to court her then she stop bugging you.

Then, the next month I had this “FAKE” relationship with my guy friend so that the girl would stop bothering and obsessing with him. It was a joke actually we just wanted to fool around and nothing really happened. But my name was not for the girl to stop obsessing my friend, it was my aim for you to at least notice me.

Didn’t work.

It was a Friday, when all this sudden thought popped into my head. It was that what if our adviser changed the seating arrangement and placed me beside you. Guess what, the next week he changed my place. Where? Next to you.

I did my best not to fall for you. Honestly. I don’t want to feel the pain I’ve felt before. Having a one-sided love. Then, I was playing through all my Taylor Swift song in my computer and the song I’d Lie came up and I thought about you.

Called up my friend after that and asking if she thinks I like you again and she said yes. I tried to dismiss the thought but unfortunately it kept creeping back in.

My feeling were back then.

The  months flew away and December came. There’s this exchange gift that happened in our class and I was really hoping I’d pick you but I didn’t. I asked you who you got for the exchange gift but you said it was a secret. (I even tripped at you but you where quick enough and help my shoulders to prevent anything else from happening.)

Two days before Christmas Party came. Then your friend slipped that you got me for the exchange gift. The next day I saw you at the mall with your friends while I was helping my friend look for a gift for her boyfriend. That moment, I was dying of curiosity on what you would give me. I know I placed “Let It Snow” by John Green, a jacket, and white earphones with no earplugs in my wish list and I was thinking if you’re going to grant my wish

My friends left me at McDo while they continued with their Christmas shopping spree. (I was done with my Christmas shopping.) Then I looked up and you and your friend were passing. Your friend saw me and said hi while you smiled and waved your hand. I am already happy that time.

The next day it was Christmas party. It was per section and good thing our classmates thought of good games but they were all too embarrassing to join. We both didn’t join most of the games and we were just walking around taking pictures of our classmates while they all make a fool of themselves. Hahaha. We were like in our own bubble for about an hour.

Then the exchange gift came. You gave me your gift which was in a small paper bag. Since my friend also got a gift from her crush which we both didn’t expect we both opened our gift at the same time. We both rushed to the other building. Thing is, your paper bag got destroyed at the bottom part so all those Hershey’s kisses and green paper went coming out of the bag where I placed all my gift. My friend teased me because of the kisses. Then there was this letter I saw. It took me time to comprehend because let’s face it you have a poor penmanship.

I didn’t get what your letter said that the packaging was broken, blah, blah,blah. Then I looked deeper inside of the paper bag and saw this white thing. I pulled it up but not completely out of the package because the moment I saw the brand and earphones I was squealing and so was my friend. She opened her gift and her wish in the wishlist was also granted by her crush.

On January, we had dancing for P.E. we became partners and I thank you for your patience in my two left feet and my sweaty hands. Then prom came, I knew you weren’t going to dance with me because you’re too busy being part of the prom committee. Just my luck, my friends kind of bugged you until you danced with me then we danced for like two songs. Technically, you’re my first dance in high school.

Before prom, you even carried my bag until the bus during camping. Just my luck, huh?

All of a sudden, it was already the last week of classes. A lot of girls cried in our section then the boys were hugging girls even if they weren’t popular. Then you were my third to the last hug which makes me very happy.

Thing is even though I could only love you from the distant, I could say you deserve it because you are such a good person. You’re responsible, not judgmental, gentleman, loyal to your friends, and approachable. But sometimes you are pessimistic.

Even though my friends say I just like you because you look like HP specially when you had glasses the only missing thing was a lightning bolt scar. They’re wrong.

I liked you because you’re you. You don’t follow the crowd which makes you special.

From someone secretly liking you from the distance